Another New Blog …

Well, I’m officially tired … tired of trying to manage multiple blogs that is.  So I’ve created a new one that will be a catch-all blog.  I also moved back to Blogger because I wanted to be able to customize it more.  Anyway, you can read it here, and here’s a screen shot 🙂 —




New Year … New You … and Me … and My Family …

That was the most clever title I could come up with at the moment. We have some big changes coming this new year – Little Buttercup is going to public school. Yes … you read that right. After much fervent prayer our oldest will begin attending the school up the street. How did we come to this, you ask. Well …

If you know me or have read my blog for any length of time then you know the troubles that I have with my oldest. We butt heads … constantly. And homeschooling her, quite literally, is a daily battle and a struggle for who has the power. It’s me, right?!?! LOL …

There have been many days that I excuse myself and shut the door to my room, call Brandon and tell him that I can’t do this any more. But it’s always a “in the heat of the moment” comment, always a reaction to a difficult situation, so I’ve never really given it a 2nd thought. Until now …

We (she and I) had a moment that left me broken and crying out to the Lord for help, for change.  I began fervently praying about the situation and not very long after I knew what needed to change … Me.  In the meantime, however, we need some separation, a break from one another, some time to heal, some absence to make the heart grow fonder.

Is this my #1 desire?  No, it isn’t, but sometimes the Lord has us set aside our desires for the greater good.  My family needs peace.  They need love from me.  They need to see Jesus in me.  I want to delight in my daughter.  These things aren’t happening and haven’t been happening.  I need to take some time and work on me.   My family deserves that.

So, there you have it.  A new year and some big changes.  I wonder what the future holds…



Failure and Forgiveness

I keep writing sentences and erasing them this morning.  I think it’s because I still do not think that I should share specifically what the Lord is doing with me, right now, in my heart.  It’s a wonderful, wonderful thing, but I am not at liberty to share details.  But I did want to share something the Lord spoke to my heart yesterday.

I was reading through some Scriptures yesterday morning and came across 2 Corinthians 2:5-8

If anyone has caused grief, he has not so much grieved me as he has grieved all of you, to some extent—not to put it too severely. The punishment inflicted on him by the majority is sufficient for him. Now instead, you ought to forgive and comfort him, so that he will not be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow. I urge you, therefore, to reaffirm your love for him.

In a book that I am reading through, the writer has this to say about the passage above:

Father, help me understand that the punishment and repercussions that come to people when they have done wrong is often sufficient for them.  Instead of causing more grief, Your Word says I ought to forgive and comfort the person, so that he or she will not be overwhelmed  by excessive sorrow.  Lord help me to the be the kind of person I’d want ministering to me after I failed.

It was that last sentence that got me …  Lord help me to be the kind of person that I would want ministering to me when I fail.  Wow.  What kind of minister am I?  Do I minister to others the way that I want them to minister to me?  Those questions really got me thinking about myself, about failure and about forgiveness.

I soon realized that I am arrogant and judgmental and grudge-bearing.   I don’t minister to others the way that would want them to minister to me when I fail.  I need to change … I must change … I want to change.  I want to minister God’s miraculous grace and mercy and love to the world.  How can I do that with so much arrogance and judgmentalness and such in my heart?  No, I cannot.

Lord help me to be the kind of person that I would want ministering to me when I fail.


I have become apathetic. While writing that last sentence I realized that the word apathetic contains the word “pathetic”. Anyway …..

Apathetic means:

not interested or concerned; indifferent or unresponsive

And that would describe me over the past 9 months. I was talking with a friend about a week ago about my desire for community and about some things that happened that hurt me over the past couple of years. And in that conversation she said one word that the Lord used to open my eyes … apathy.

As soon as the word came out of her mouth I knew that was the perfect word to describe the state I have been in regarding people and the church over the past 9 months. So last week I was really trying to not be so pathetic, … er … um … apathetic. Then Sunday night we visited a new church (new to us) and the the message was about hearing God. It was good and very timely. I realized during the evening that not only had I been apathetic toward people, but I had become apathetic toward God too. Wow. I hadn’t really realized it until Sunday night.

I won’t get into details right now about the things the Lord has shown me over the past 3 days, because I don’t feel the freedom to do so yet, but let me just say that God has rekindled a fire within me that had seemingly burned out. Monday morning I cried as I listened to “O Holy Night” on the radio, I cried when I saw a wooden Santa bowing to the Baby Jesus on a neighbor’s lawn, and yesterday morning I cried when I saw the beautiful sunrise out my upstairs window. I cried this morning when I realized just how much the Lord loves me and just how much He has forgiven me.

I’m praising God this morning that He will never leave me nor forsake me …

And I wanted to share this song with you, if you haven’t heard it already … it’s beautiful and I can’t seem to get it out of my mind …


smiley-face.gifThanks, everyone, for your concern … I am good … better than good – I am great. Life has just become so busy, or should I say that I am putting my priorities in order more. Instead of getting up early and spending time on the computer I am getting up and going to the gym. And we’re also doing homeschool and Baby Buttercup has given up her morning nap so it’s hectic around here when I get home.

I’ve been spending my time working out and trying to eat better and counting calories and all that … I really have been needing to take better care of myself for some time now. And I spend other free time sewing, which I love.

So that’s me right now … Schooling, sweating and sewing 🙂 … and, again, thanks so much for your care and concern for me!!

Love you all!


Saviour King

hu.jpgI love Hillsong’s music.  We had the great opportunity once to worship with Darlene Zschech leading … it was awesome.  This past Sunday we sang the following song and I have not been able to get it out of my mind, so I searched for it on iTunes.  Wouldn’t you know it … you can’t buy just the song, you have to buy the entire album.  Well, it’s such a great song that it was worth buying the entire album.  The rest of the album is good also, but this song is just … wonderful!

You can hear the entire song here (yes, I am being lazy about posting it myself).  It’s a ~L~O~N~G~ song, but so worth the listen … it gets really good about 4 minutes in …

Here are the lyrics …

Let now the weak say I have strength
By the spirit of power that raised Christ from the dead
Let now the poor stand and confess
That my portion is Him and I’m more blessed

Let now our hearts burn with a flame
A fire consuming all for your Son’s holy name
And with the heavens we declare
You are our king

We love you Lord, we worship you
You are our God, you alone are good

Let now your church shine as the bride
That you soar in your heart as you offered up your life
Let now the lost be welcomed home
By the saved and redeemed those adopted as your own

We love you Lord, we worship you
You are our God, you alone are good

I love you Lord, I worship you
Hope which was lost, now stands renewed

I give my life to honor this
The love of Christ, the savior king

You asked your Son to carry this
The heavy cross our weight of sin

I give my life to honor this
The love of Christ, the savior king

Dwight Schrute BobbleHead …

Happy EARLY Birthday to me 🙂 … a package just arrived in the mail from my dear friend, Paige. We share an affinity for odd humor, especially The Office. So I open the box and what to my wondering eyes should appear? A Dwight Schrute Bobblehead doll! LOL! I laugh every time I look at it… thanks Paige!!

about me & my reflections

me ... daughter of the King, loving wife, homeschooling mom, ordinary radical. You can learn a little more about my heart here.

mission reflection

Some want to live within the sound of church or chapel bell; I want to run a rescue shop within a yard of hell. --C.T. Studd

my heart’s players

  • Buttercup - me
  • Farmboy - my dear husband
  • Little Buttercup - our oldest daughter
  • Baby Buttercup - our youngest daughter
If you don't understand these names, you simply must see our favorite movie, The Princess Bride

reading and reflecting

  • Quaker Summer by Lisa Samson
  • Love's Long Journey by Janette Oke
  • *Wise Blood by Flannery O'Connor
  • *The Scarlet Letter by Nathanial Hawthorne
  • Church Ladies by Lisa Samson *AWESOME* I didn't want it to end :(
*Currently Reading
The WeatherPixie