Apathetic

I have become apathetic. While writing that last sentence I realized that the word apathetic contains the word “pathetic”. Anyway …..

Apathetic means:

not interested or concerned; indifferent or unresponsive

And that would describe me over the past 9 months. I was talking with a friend about a week ago about my desire for community and about some things that happened that hurt me over the past couple of years. And in that conversation she said one word that the Lord used to open my eyes … apathy.

As soon as the word came out of her mouth I knew that was the perfect word to describe the state I have been in regarding people and the church over the past 9 months. So last week I was really trying to not be so pathetic, … er … um … apathetic. Then Sunday night we visited a new church (new to us) and the the message was about hearing God. It was good and very timely. I realized during the evening that not only had I been apathetic toward people, but I had become apathetic toward God too. Wow. I hadn’t really realized it until Sunday night.

I won’t get into details right now about the things the Lord has shown me over the past 3 days, because I don’t feel the freedom to do so yet, but let me just say that God has rekindled a fire within me that had seemingly burned out. Monday morning I cried as I listened to “O Holy Night” on the radio, I cried when I saw a wooden Santa bowing to the Baby Jesus on a neighbor’s lawn, and yesterday morning I cried when I saw the beautiful sunrise out my upstairs window. I cried this morning when I realized just how much the Lord loves me and just how much He has forgiven me.

I’m praising God this morning that He will never leave me nor forsake me …

And I wanted to share this song with you, if you haven’t heard it already … it’s beautiful and I can’t seem to get it out of my mind …