Archive for November, 2006

Peace

It’s been a while since i have written, but that’s not because the Lord hasn’t spoken to me or taught me anything over the past week or so. He has … I’ve just been either tired or down and out with the tummy flu or just didn’t feel like writing.

I have had much tension inside me over the past week. The Lord reminded me this morning that He is my Peace and that I am attributing to Him human fatherly characteristics that He doesn’t have …. He is perfect and loves me with an everlasting love and that love is unconditional – He loves me simply because He does.

I expect too much out of myself … I expect myself to be like others around me that I admire and respect because of their walk with Him. But He reminded me this morning that He created me to be me, and no one else.

His grace is sufficient for me …….

Blessings!

Rebellion

“For rebellion is as the sin of divination,
And insubordination is as iniquity and idolatry …
1 Samuel 15:23

Hmmmm … the Lord reminded me of this this morning because of something yesterday that I won’t go into. Here is my plea:

Change my heart oh God,
make it ever true.
Change my heart oh God,
may I be like You.

You are the potter,
I am the clay,
Mold me and make me,
This is what I pray.

© 1982, Mercy / Vineyard Publishing
Words and Music by Eddie Espinosa


But now, O LORD, You are our Father,
We are the clay, and You our potter;
And all of us are the work of Your hand.
Isaiah 64:8


On the contrary, who are you, O man, who answers back to God? The thing molded will not say to the molder, “Why did you make me like this,” will it?

Or does not the potter have a right over the clay, to make from the same lump one vessel for honorable use and another for common use?
Romans 9:20-21

God is all up in my business!

Man, oh man … I am SOOOOOOO SELFISH! Yuck! But I honestly don’t know how to not be …. I was taught to be selfish and I know no other way. :(

Philippians 2 says:

3 Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves;

4 do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.

Selfishness – what does it mean? Mirriam-Webster’s Dictionary says:

Main Entry: self·ish
Pronunciation: ’sel-fish
Function: adjective

1 : concerned excessively or exclusively with oneself : seeking or concentrating on one’s own advantage, pleasure, or well-being without regard for others

2 : arising from concern with one’s own welfare or advantage in disregard of others (a selfish act)

3 : being an actively replicating repetitive sequence of nucleic acid that serves no known function (selfish DNA); also : being genetic material solely concerned with its own replication (selfish genes)

- self·ish·ly adverb
- self·ish·ness noun

Okay, I must say that that last definition is cracking me up, and may very well be accurate about me also … “serves NO KNOWN FUNCTION” – within the body of Christ that is accurate!

Romans 2:8 says

but to those who are selfishly ambitious and do not obey the truth, but obey unrighteousness, wrath and indignation.


Um – OUCH! Do you see how he lumped selfish ambition with not pbeying the truth, unrighteousness, wrath and indignation???

And check out James 3:

13 Who among you is wise and understanding? Let him show by his good behavior his deeds in the gentleness of wisdom.

14 But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your heart, do not be arrogant and so lie against the truth.

15 This wisdom is not that which comes down from above, but is earthly, natural, (X)demonic.

16 For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there is disorder and every evil thing.

17 But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, reasonable, full of mercy and good fruits, unwavering, without hypocrisy.


I might be feeling a bit humbled right about now. Let’s look and see what the Greek words are for “selfish ambition” …

Hmmmmm …. “selfish” — the Greek word is Eritheia and it means:
1. electioneering or intriguing for office
a. apparently, in the NT a courting distinction, a desire to put one’s self forward, a partisan and fractious spirit which does not disdain low arts
b. partisanship, fractiousness
This word is found before NT times only in Aristotle where it denotesa self-seeking pursuit of political office by unfair means. (A&G)Paul exhorts to be one in the mind of Christ not putting self forward or being selfish

“ambition” — the Greek word is … what? the same word! So there are not 2 words there, but one … eritheia. The same word is used in Philippians 2:3 when Paul exhorts us to do nothing out of selfishness.

But what about Philippians 2:3? What about “empty conceit”? Let’s look at that …

The Greek used for “empty conceit” is, again, one word and not 2 – it’s Kenodoxia, which means:
1. vain glory, groundless, self esteem, empty pride
2. a vain opinion, error

Ick … I’m starting to get an ugly picture here of a dirty, greasy politician only out for political gain and vain glory, thinking only of himself and caring not who is destroyed along the way …

Okay … let’s look at one more thing and then I’m done (by the way – this is what the Lord told me to do this morning – look at Philippians 2:3 and pick it apart … now I know why!)

Romans 12:3 says:

For through the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think more highly of himself than he ought to think; but to think so as to have sound judgment, as God has allotted to each a measure of faith.

So, “think more highly” is also one Greek word — Huperphroneo, which means to think more highly of one’s self than is proper. But, when you break it down it’s a combination of “Hooper”, which means
1. in behalf of, for the sake of
2. over, beyond, more than
3. more, beyond, over

and “Phroneo”, which means
1. to have understanding, be wise
2. to feel, to think
a. to have an opinion of one’s self, think of one’s self, to be modest, not let one’s opinion (though just) of himself exceed the bounds of modesty
b. to think or judge what one’s opinion is
c. to be of the same mind i.e. agreed together, cherish the same views, be harmonious
3. to direct one’s mind to a thing, to seek, to strive for
a. to seek one’s interest or advantage
b. to be of one’s party, side with him (in public affairs)

Hmmmm … so, basically, “Huperphroneo” means HYPER THINKING …. Paul is telling us not to be hyper thinkers about ourselves.

All this is very interesting …

Well, that word study was certainly fruitful this morning. I know it was long, and if you have gotten this far thanks for “listening” and I hope you got something out of it … I know I sure did! I know that I am a Hyper Thinker about myself and I know that I do not want to be a dirty politician only out for political gain and vain glory at the expense of everyone else! No thank you!

Thank you, Lord, for directing my steps this morning to do this word study and pick apart these verses … thanks for gently showing me the truth about selfishness!

A Good Word From a Good Friend

My dearest friend, Lisa, sent me this in response via email to my post this morning “Tough Words” …

I was studying in Galatians 1:10 yesterday about that very thing (the caring what others think part). It says, “Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ.” It hit me that anyone that I am trying to please I am a servant to! I am a slave to their strongholds and flesh by trying to fit into what is affirming to them. That’s a tall order to fill but praise the Lord that God’s approval is so much easier to get than mans! I hope that is as encouraging to you as it is to me!

Much love,

Lisa

Now THAT’S a good word! Thanks Lis!

Tough Words

I’ve been seeking the “I-don’t-cares” with the Lord lately. In other words, I want to stop caring what other people think of me … in the right way. I am so full of myself and I think about myself way too much – YUCK!!

I’ve told the Lord over and over that I want to stop caring what people think of me. And I have felt like over the past couple of days that He has been trying to speak to me about witnessing (as in the grocery store line, etc.). But I haven’t been listening. Ever do that? You start to quench the Holy Spirit because you don’t want to hear what He has to say, ’cause you know you’re not going to like it? This is my first time (HA!!)

So I got up to leave my prayer closet this morning and I’m telling you – the Lord asked me where I was going, said we’re not finished yet!! So I told Him that I simply didn’t want to – I don’t want to speak to people in line at the store – it’s uncomfortable and what if I embarrass them? Then the Lord asked…

Do you care about your own comfort more than you care about another person’s salvation?

OUCH!! What a sobering question …

All He wants me to do is this: Ask “Do you know Jesus?” and regardless of their answer tell them “He wants you to know that He loves you!”. Of course, if the door is opened for more, then go for it. But this is all He’s asking.

You know something else the Lord said to me this morning? He is just getting all up in my business LOL … He said, “You know how you tell Lydia to just trust you because you know more than she does? I want you to do the same with me.”

You know what is sad? Times in the past where I felt like He was asking me to do this I would actually avoid going to the store or I would use the self-check-out so that I didn’t have to talk to anyone. Sad … but true …

Oh Lord, please strengthen me …

Let’s Get To Work

Obviously, I’m not trying to win the approval of people, but of God. If pleasing people were my goal, I would not be Christ’s servant. Galatians 1:10 NLT

Another awesome time with the Lord this morning …

PERFECTION … I am still seeking it and it’s not possible for me or anyone to be perfect – it is as Solomon talks about in Ecclesiastes – striving after the wind.

SINCERITY … that’s the thing, the key for me, and it IS possible.

Okay, so that inferiority root that I found during my fast back in September … it’s still there. It’s dying, but it’s still alive and it’s still present. It’s time to get it out!

I have learned a lot about gardening over the past year. So the Lord used that to speak to me about what needs to be done. So far I have been cleaning up my garden here and there, doing some work (which, let’s face it, hasn’t been my best work) to get rid of the weeds when I see them or have time to mess with them. But it’s time to pick up the hoe and get down and dirty and chop up those weeds and their roots and get them out of there. It’s time to get to work …

Weeds. They have deep roots that steal all the nutrients and water from the rightful plants and flowers in the garden. They choke the life right out of those rightful plants. If they are allowed to grow, even a tiny bit, rather than being killed and done away with, then they will eventually take over the entire garden. YUCK! Who wants a garden full of weeds?

My heart is like a garden. There are all kinds of plants growing there. Some of those plants have been put there by the Lord and they have a right to be there. But some of those plants are weeds … planted there by my flesh, by satan, by the world. I’ve got to get out the tools (the TRUTH of God’s Word, perserverance, the Holy Spirit, obedience …) and start working to get them out so that the rightful plants can grow and produce fruit.

For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11 NLT

God Still Speaks to His Children ….

God spoke to me a lot this morning …

First, I was thinking about how I wanted to be more sensitive to the Holy Spirit, more in tune with the Lord. He told me that I was not as sensitive and in tune with Him because of me, not because of Him. It’s because I am afraid … of man! I’m being a man-pleaser. I’m afraid of putting myself out there, I’m afraid of rejection — but what can man do to me??? Ultimately, man can kill the body …

Jesus said in Luke 12:4-5:
“I say to you, My friends, do not be afraid of those who kill the body and after that have no more that they can do.

“But I will warn you whom to fear: fear the One who, after He has killed, has authority to cast into hell; yes, I tell you, fear Him!

… I’m not living in a place like that right now, where I need to be afraid of being killed for the Lord. Okay, so then people can make fun of me, think I am weird or a freak, reject me, but that shouldn’t matter – BE A GOD-PLEASER AND NOT A MAN-PLEASER!!

I fear rejection from people (man) … why? What is it rooted in? It’s rooted in feeling inferior, which is something the Lord and I explored quite deeply during my last fast in September. That root is still there, but slowly dying. So I’m not as in tune with the Lord as I would like to be, as I can be, as I should be – not because of Him, but because of me.

Psalm 118:6 says:
The LORD is for me; I will not fear; What can man do to me?

Romans 8:31 & 35 says:
31 What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who is against us?

35 Who will separate us from the love of Christ? Will tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?

Can anything separate me from the love of God?

Second, with Lydia it’s 2-fold: I’m expecting a little more from her than she is capable of (and in that I am exasperating her) and she is having a hard time keeping herself under control. God said “Keep teaching her to have the mind of Christ – that will make the difference.”

The Approval of Men

This morning I told the Lord (again) that I was tired of caring what other people think of me. If you knew me IRL you would not think that I do … I have this strange thing going on inside me. It’s like I don’t care what people think of me on the one hand, but on the other hand I want people to like me and so I do care.

John Eldredge in his book Waking the Dead talks about “perfectionism so as not to be seen” … that would be me. The Lord is teaching me and changing me so that I am no longer concerned with perfection, just with excellence (which are 2 completely different things!).

But I’m not going to go into that because that wasn’t the nugget the Lord gave me this morning. Today was the first time He said to me “STOP. Don’t do it. Don’t care any more what people think of you. Fill up with Scripture so that the next time you are tempted to care more about what men (people) think of you than what I think of you, then you stand against it with Truth.”

So I found Galatians 1:10

Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ.

p*e*r*f*e*c*t!! I printed it out on a card and will memorize it … I’m going to hide it in my heart so that I might not sin against the Lord (Psalm 119:11)

The Lord is continuing to amaze me daily …

Blessings!

~Heather

Welcome to my world …

… won’t you come on in …

My husband and I sing that all the time – it makes us laugh. Okay, so here is my new blog on Blogger. I tried WordPress, but their free blog hosting just didn’t have anough functionality for me.

So, what’s the point of this blog? Mainly, it’s for me to keep up with me. Really. But you may want to keep up with me, too, and that’s okay. I mainly wanted to blog about the nuggets the Lord has been giving me constantly these days. Ever since I went through a season of prayer and fasting about 2 months ago the Lord won’t stop talking to me! LOL! And I love it. And I want to keep it fresh. So I am here …

Blessings!


about me & my reflections

me ... daughter of the King, loving wife, homeschooling mom, ordinary radical. You can learn a little more about my heart here.

mission reflection

Some want to live within the sound of church or chapel bell; I want to run a rescue shop within a yard of hell. --C.T. Studd

my heart’s players

  • Buttercup - me
  • Farmboy - my dear husband
  • Little Buttercup - our oldest daughter
  • Baby Buttercup - our youngest daughter
If you don't understand these names, you simply must see our favorite movie, The Princess Bride

reading and reflecting

  • Quaker Summer by Lisa Samson
  • Love's Long Journey by Janette Oke
  • *Wise Blood by Flannery O'Connor
  • *The Scarlet Letter by Nathanial Hawthorne
  • Church Ladies by Lisa Samson *AWESOME* I didn't want it to end :(
Notes:
Completed
*Currently Reading
The WeatherPixie